The Happy Terrorists

A few days ago a friend was pondering over why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Lets have a look at the evidence:

- No Christmas
- No television
- No football
- No pork chops
- No hot dogs
- No burgers
- No beer
- No bacon
- Rags for clothes
- Towels for hats
- Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower
- You cook over burning camel crap
- Your wife is picked by someone else for you 
- More than one wife
- More than one mother in law
- You can't shave
- Your wife can't shave
- You can't wash off the smell of your donkey
- Your wife smells worse than your donkey 

then they tell them they get WHAT when they die???

Well......

The Top Signs You Hired the Wrong Attorney

The Top Signs You Hired the Wrong Attorney

Most of his "legal" experience is as a convicted felon.

He sends all your documents to opposing counsel.

Citations he's obtained this week for relevant cases: none.
Citations he's obtained this week for Drunk and Disorderly: three.

He makes a casual remark that he never knew so many people had "V" as a middle initial.

You overhear a phone call that ends, "You don't have to actually WIN?  I can't find my ass with both hands and a flashlight and they still let ME be a lawyer."

The only Latin terms he understands are pig latin.

When he hears anything concerning Guantanamo, he says he doesn't like avocados.

When told that "the jury was hung," he starts laughing.

His idea of multitasking includes filling out legal documents while watching Jerry Springer.

Confuses "steno" with "sterno," causing an unexpected office fire.

No matter what his clients are accused of, tries to get his secretary to confess to the crime.

Every time he drafts a request for a continuance, he cites as the reason, "scared of losing."

and the Number 1 Sign You Hired the Wrong Attorney...

"Bill of Rights? I paid it with the firms credit card."

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